Rita Rudner's 50 facts about men.

   1.Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved. 
   6.Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on
     television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in
     trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I
     have to get off the phone in case they call him. 
   7.If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season. 
   8.Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important. 
   9.Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is
     upsetting to their psyches. 
  12.Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public
     they have to know. 
  16.Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address
     book, telescope and piano. 
  17.All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear
     in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf. 
  18.Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not
     burn, he will take it personally. 
  23.Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I
     recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore. 
  25.Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a
     department store, two inches from the door. 
  26.If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce,
     he is serious. 
  30.When four or more men get together, they talk about sports. 
  33.Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE
     WERE twice, voluntarily. 
  34.Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?"
     Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?" 
  35.If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your
     number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you. 
  38.Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never
     want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I
     suggest saying, "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children."
     Sometimes they leave skid marks. 
  40.Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network. 
  41.Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit. 
  44.Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheros. Women have bad
     self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie. 
  45.When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has
     gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will
     assume the clothing has shrunk. 
  47.Men forget everything; women remember everything. 
  48.We do love you. We don't love many people, and we don't like to say it very often. Too
     much of anything can diminish its value.